where does it go?

Time.
Where does it go?
 It seems that I am busier since being away from the office than when I was there.
How the heck did I fit everything in to the day while at work 40 hours a week?

Our roommate's family was in town last week, and they wanted to make sure to squeeze in a dinner with us. So, last Monday evening we got to visit and hang out with them. It was really great and they keep insisting that we should move to Oregon- they love it up there! You never know, it might just happen.

On Tuesday, I had an interview for a new job. It went well, but why oh why must they ask questions like, "What would your current or previous employer say are your greatest strengths and weaknesses"?
Andy says I shouldn't take that question so literally. I have to admit, with the way I have been getting kicked around by my current employer, I almost cried when I had to answer the weakness portion of the question. I have been asking myself over and over again, what DID I do to make it so they wanted to get rid of me like they did? I know I have to stop thinking like that, but man, that question really did a number on me.

Wednesday I worked on a few emails to my current employer and did some real thinking about what our options are right now. To help clear my mind afterward, I headed up to Donner Lake with my mom for a really nice walk around Donner State Park and a toe dip into the lake. I love it up there and always forget just how quiet it is on the east end of the lake (and the water is a tad warmer over there too because it isn't as deep).

I've been getting to enjoy the moments with the kids so much more lately. We decided not to take them out of daycare while I was home until we knew for sure if I would be working or not. I like not having to rush so much in the morning to get them off to school and being able to pick them up early if I want to. I also like getting to make my own schedule and make plans like wandering around the thrift store mindlessly.  This week I found a bit of color, just what I needed to help keep my spirits bright.

Thursday, oh Thursday. I had been holding off taking a photo all day since I knew we were going to go to the baseball game later that evening. Unfortunately, I had also taken some time to pull my memory card out and didn't put it back in, it is the first official day of not taking a photo this year, (I made it to day 208)- but if I had taken a shot, it would have looked a lot like this one:

Friday was another whirl-wind day. I walked with one of my girlfriends in the morning and then I had a third meeting with my office to discuss options and a possible placement for me. I am still not satisfied with what they are offering and asked them several questions that I felt needed answering before I would agree to show up to work with a new title (and decreased pay). It was the first meeting where I didn't cry my eyes out I felt strong and confident, almost as if I had the upper hand on the situation.
(hello, I do! I just have to remember that I have a boat load of knowledge that nobody else there has and leverage it.)



It was incredibly hot out all day. Thunderheads built up and we got some excitement in the late evening. After dinner we headed outside to play in the front yard to ride bikes and watch the storm.

 

A fire broke out to the west of us, the power went out, a rainbow appeared to the east and a bunch of the neighbors came out to visit since they couldn't watch TV while the electricity was off.



We decided to go out for ice cream while we waited for the power to come back on, it was a perfect way to enjoy the evening and the rainstorm.

Today has been extremely chill. We visited with Andy's parents, had lunch, and put the kids down for a nap. They both slept for 3+ hours which gave us time to hang out and enjoy the quiet.
I finally finished the first sleeve on my Tea Leaves cardi and watched the X-games skateboarding street competition on TV. It was wonderfully lazy all around.

I hope you all are enjoying your weekend and staying cool and safe where ever you are!

on a lighter note...

When you have a Friday like this, you need to have a weekend like this....

We got this scoot bike for O at Christmas time, he is finally tall enough for his feet to touch the ground. He wants to take it everywhere, and wear that helmet ALWAYS, to the store, to the restaurant.

He was singing a great little song when I took this- I SO wish my DSLR had video, it was pretty priceless.

"Singin', eeeeneemeeneee, mine-eee-momomo, catch a whipper-whapper, but the toe-o-o-o. If he hollers, hollers, let him go. sigin', eeeeneemeeneee, mine-eee-momomo,"

 

Breakfast at the Gold'n'Silver.
A favorite greasy spoon of mine.
It's been around forever and was recently featured in "Dinners,Drive-ins and Dives".
The staff is always nice and they don't freak at loud kids or huge messes. Plus, the people watching is fantastic.
I was thinking it would be fun to do a photo project where I photographed the staff and clientele.

Mid-day, we split up and I went with Fifi to Truckee to hang out with family and Daddy took O to the GSR to play in the pool with his cousins.

The day was dotted with wonderful things. But, this part stuck out in my mind the most, Fifi taking some of her first steps. We decided to go to pizza and beer for dinner.
As we waited for our food, we let the kids run around.
She can only do one or two and then falls down, but she gets back up again and gives it another try. Everyone in the back patio was cheering her on, it was so sweet.

After dinner we loaded up the truck with blankets and pillows and lawn chairs and went to the drive in! I had never been and it was a fun way to spend the late evening. It might have been a little stressful when the kids were both screaming, but all in all it was a hoot. Of course, we saw "Car-car".

Sunday night we grilled corn and tri-tip and played in the back yard.

I am so glad he thinks pulling her around is as much fun as getting to ride.

These are the things that make it all worth it, really. I don't care how cheesy that sounds, it's true.

200:365, swim

I sit waiting for the phone to ring, for an email to come in, for something.

Three full weeks I have been home, getting paid to test run being a stay at home mom.
I am anxious as all get out today, hoping to hear the final decision that my current employer will make.
My heart and chest periodically get tight- like the feeling right before the roller coaster takes you over the hump and down the enormous drop.
Perhaps it is a similar excitement that is building inside of me- I am on the roller coaster of life and this is just one of the drops that takes you into the loop, turning everything upside-down and your stomach inside-out.
Challenging my perspective, my point of view.

Challenging who I believe I am.

On Wednesday, as I sat on the edge of the dock looking across Donner Lake, I had the saying,
"Do one thing everyday that scares you." running through my head.
That is when I realized I had already done that, I stood up for what I think I deserve. I put out the facts and spoke even though my voice shook.
But after that, I knew I wasn't through with fright for the day.
So I went off and did a second thing that scares me.
The water that is made up of snow run off from Donner Summit.
Ironically,  the lake is one of the only places I could think of that would make things seem normal and calm.
But the frigid water is a scary thing to plunge into no matter how 'local' you think you are.
What I really needed was to wash it all away,
to clean the mental slate from the mornings confrontation
and to snap myself out of the broken record that was running through my mind.

Finally, I jumped into that cold, mountain water.
You know what, it wasn't as cold as I thought it would be.
It was however, every bit as refreshing as I had hoped.
 I am taking that as a signal of things to come.
All this stuff that is scaring the shit out of me right now won't be as bad as I am making it in my mind,
the waters won't be as frigid.
Heck, it might even work out to be a million times better and more refreshing than jumping in a lake on a hot summer day.

To the Library

Being home from work for the past couple of weeks has meant getting to be home with O on Tuesdays and Thursdays. These are the days he would normally spend with my mom while I was working. I realized that we need to get out of the house at least once a day, so I try to have some activities/outings planned for us. It could be just going to the post office, the grocery store or one of the many playgrounds in our neighborhood. But I think a change of scenery for both of us does some good- and if I time it right, he usually falls asleep for his afternoon nap on the way home- score! 

One of the things he and my mom do is go to the library. He had some books to return and wanted to check out a few more, plus I thought they might have some new music that we could borrow to mix things up around the house. (Have I mentioned O is a huge fan of rasta music as well as The Beatles?) So on Tuesday we headed downtown. O had quarters in his pocket and was ready to feed the parking meter, he also had his library card in there too. We found a few books, a They Might Be Giants CD as well as the Remarkable Farkle McBride CD (John Lithgow is so silly and this is one of our favorite books).

The downtown library has all sorts of levels and twisty stairs and plants hanging from every where- oh and nice natural light. It reminded me what a wonderful asset the public library serves in our community. I need to go there more often!

Upright

Ready,

Steady,

GOAL!!

over the weekend...

The sky threatened and mirrored my emotions on Friday. It was a difficult day, filled with sticking up for myself and asking why my work doesn't feel I am qualified for a position I know I am qualified to do. I am on hold for another week until they can sort out what to do with me. It was emotionally draining and unlike the clouds, I burst as soon as I walked out of the negotiation doors...

On the bright side of Friday, I got to pick Daddy-O up from the airport. He was out of town last week for work, down in San Diego (or as O was calling it, Sandy-Eggo) for a software user conference.  It was a tricky week for him to be away, but he had a good trip, was able to post my resume at the conference he went to and I got a bite from a company (here in town!) that wants to interview me (please cross your fingers for me!). This is good news...

I was so glad he was home, so was he (the kids were pretty stoked too, Fifi wouldn't let me hold her the entire evening on Friday, it was adorable).

Saturday we played around the house, took a ride on the train down at the local park and hung out in the back yard all evening. Fifi discovered the little tike car and played on, in and around it for a really long time that afternoon. We ate GIANT s'mores after a yummy grilled dinner, GIANT I tell you. The marshmallows Daddy brought home from the store were like 4 in 1. crazy, sticky, good.

 We headed up to the lake (Tahoe) for the afternoon on Sunday. It was gorgeous, but we hit the wrong time with the kids' nap schedule and there were some trashy people cussing and swearing and chain smoking on the beach next to us that sort of ruined it for me.

We took a walk out on a small pier and let the pretty just soak in to our minds. I love that people are swimming and playing in a lake while there is still up on the mountains above.

We are so lucky to live so close to this place. I think maybe this week I will go back and jump in for a swim...

oh, and look who is practicing standing up! I know this isn't a great photo, but I caught her testing out her legs while we sat on the beach. It's pretty exciting...

artist in residence

It's like art camp over at my mom's house.

I love it.

 

Coloring in Jojo's 'Plan B" studio, aka the camp trailer.

Finger painting and mixing colors in Jojo's back yard.

good eaters

afternoon snacking on summer time fruit

re fried beans and cheese, she's totally into it.

b-sprouts, garlic, prosciutto and some lemon juice. Saute and serve.

don't forget something nice to wash it all down with.

Cheers!

Play

There has been so much fantastic play happening around here lately.

O's imagination is really blooming and it is so funny to hear him as he makes up a conversation between a pig and train or listen in on him 'reading' his books.

We pulled out the Legos and I watched him build an airplane, I was totally blown away as I watched it take shape- how the h. e. double hockey sticks did he do that?!

He and Fifi have actually been playing really well together lately, as long as she doesn't destroy a tower or gum on a train track we are all good.

One of their favorite things to do is play around the couch.

Rolling, and leaping (O leaping, not Fifi).

At times I wonder if I am raising billy goats with all the head butting going on as of late.

I love the giggles that fill the air.