into the light
I hear them... the announcer is talking to the participants across the way over the loud speaker. It is only 7am, but I am sure they have all been up for hours already.
They have been prepping their giant rainbows onto the wet, cool grass. Spreading out color like artists to a canvas. Tomorrow they will start to float over our roof tops and we will hear the rushing sound of the flames, shhhhhh-shhhhhh. It is as much a signal of autumn as the squawk of geese overhead. As much of a signal that we are headed into a new season as the cool air that sticks around longer that 8am and the new red-orange that I see in the neighbor's tree. These cues let me know that things are changing. Changing in a big way.
The ballooners aren't the only ones being beckoned toward the light. Baby-noodle has been scheduled to make a debut. We have big choices and big conversations to make with our doctor today.
Will she let me go just a few more days if I agree to be monitored over the weekend? What if my calculations of the EDD are more accurate than hers? (after all, I was charting 40 weeks and 5 days ago and know when things went down). Is my thermometer and graph paper more knowledgeable than her fancy ultrasound machine?
Is baby really running low on bath water in there or is it because Dr. is going to be on call this Friday and can make it conveniently to be the birth?
Will I fall down the slippery slope of an induced birth?
If we do let things progress on their own, would the end result be any different than what could happen if we use assistance to jump start things? I could have complications without the drugs just as easily as I could with them.
And just how big is baby noodle getting in there? I saw the scale at the office move up an entire lb from last week to this.
Is it selfish to want the birth I imagined or is it good parenting to not want to start things off in a drug induced way?
so many questions...we have until 8pm tonight to decide.
If I have been in your thoughts I want to tell you "thank you". Please keep sending us strength, courage and love. Most of all I need to remember to TRUST in the universe... everything is as it should be.
PS if any of my dear readers out there have been through an induced labor and delivery and have some positive light to shed on this for me I would love to hear it... we are leaning towards following doctor's orders. So tonight is most likely the night. I just need to hear from you guys out there. I know woman are induced all the time and the babies are just fine. So if you have a story that you don't mind telling please share (you can email me if you don't want it out on the web, just leave me a comment and I will pass along my address).... thanks