September, September

I happened to glance out the bathroom window this morning as I was brushing my teeth and noticed the next door neighbor's tree (pictured above, a photo from last year) was starting to turn that fiery red color that I so love. As I was getting dressed I heard the 'shhhh-shhhhhhhh' of a hot air balloon. Looking out the bedroom window I spotted a blue and yellow orb bobbing it's way northwest from our neighborhood. I got a little teary eyed. If you were reading this blog when O was born you will know that I watched the balloons rise for two mornings while in the hospital in labor with him. The balloon races start next week, will this second baby also wait for the same view or will he/she get to see the amazing sky full of color with its own eyes?

I am ready for September, I love all the changes- not just in the season but in the rhythm of the world. Kids and college students head back to the classroom, days become shorter, mornings and evenings cooler. We are deep into birthday season, so there is cake almost.every.weekend from here until Christmas. I love watching the change in the trees and plants (actually this blog's title is from an Alburt Camus quote, Autumn is a second spring when every leaf is a flower. And it is true, the world is just as colorful in the coming months as it was in the ones we just finishing).

I am trying to quite my mind, send my energy downward-outward and enjoy these last few moments with just my two boys. Our Septembers won't be the same once Deuce enters the world. So much celebration to be had, so much love, so much newness.
It is wonderful.

yup, its september all right

the boy and his crazy hair watching as the balloons go up. He loved it!
I really should get extra credit for almost all the shots I took this morning-
I was holding a 20lb squirmy worm on my hip the whole time!
For more of what I saw, yesterday and today head over to my flickr set.
~~~~
PS
If you found your way here view Corner View, welcome! Aren't you glad Jane has us traveling the virtual globe again?! Thanks for stopping by have a look around if you are new or haven't stopped by in awhile.
For more of this week's corner view head on over to these lovely blogs:

jane, ladybug-zen, ian, bonnie, esti, sophie, cele, modsquad,
caitlin, joyce, ani, kim, a day that is dessert, natsumi, epe, kaylovesvintage, trinsch, c.t., jeannette, outi, ritva, francesca, state of bliss, jennifer, dana, denise, cabrizette, bohemia girl, dianna, isabelle, amber, a girl in the yellow shoes, mister e, janis, kari, jgy, skymring, elizabeth, audrey, allison, lise, cate, crescent moon, erin, otli, ida, caroline, lisa, dorte, kimmie, la lune dans le ciel, nicola, malo, vanessa, britta, april, b, kyndale samantha, karen, kristina, dorit, goldensunfamily, sophie, janet, mcgillicutty, desiree, travelingmama, aimee, sunnymama, amanda, ali, jenell, britta, juanita, pamela, inna, daan, myrtille, cris, ibb, susi, jodi, lily, gillian,

athena, pienduzz, latisha, clairette, kelleyn, iris, demara, mus, ninja, guusje, di, sammi, theresa, cherry b, victoria, kathryn , lisa, liza, juliette

The story...

He is asleep now in his swing. One arm flung above his head, toes (long and like his mama's, and yet just like his papa's too) peaking out from the swaddle job gone awry. He is knocked out from the boob juice. My feet, still swollen from Saturday, should be up, but it is hard to type like that. The past week has been a blur. A strange intensity of laughter and random tears. of extreme joy and a bit of frustration to boot. But it has been a week I hope to not forget soon.

We went in on Thursday night to begin a "slow" induction. They started me on cytotec at around 9pm, took blood work, ask a million questions and then left hubby and I for the night in the L&D room. I woke up on Friday to see the eagle taking flight out my window. Around 9 or 10 they came in and hooked up my IV and started me on pitocin and then broke my waters. It took a few, but I soon found myself in the zone of labor. Breathing, swaying trying to find the best place for comfort. I moved from standing hunched over the bed to sitting on the ball hunched over the bed. I would unplug from the monitors and make my way to the bathroom just to have a minute alone. The nurse was amazing and was very respectful of our birthing plan (the parts that hadn't already gotten totally cleared out because of the situation). She didn't offer me once the epidural, she didn't report how dilated I was after checking me unless I asked and she had the most amazing and calm energy about her.
My doula, hubby and my mom were in the room and held the external monitors in place as I moved from place to place. They got my water when I needed it, my wet rag when I asked and encouraged me along to breath through it all. Around 8pm I requested the epidural. I was shaking and tired and knew I had to get some rest for the laboring ahead of me. Everyone agreed and thought it would help to move the dilation along ans well as give me that much needed rest.
The anesthesiologist came in and stated, "I will make a believer out of you yet". He was all business and even as I shook in fear of the possible problems and epidural can bring he did an amazing job. I soon felt the much needed relief and was able to rest. I could still feel my legs but not the pain.
We were told around 2am that I was ready, the doctor was in a c-section down the hall but would be here in about half hour and pushing could start. They turned my epidural down to half and two hours later when no doctor had appeared I requested between the contractions (which were quite heavy now since the pit was upped but the epi was downed) to please either start the pushing or turn the epidural back up. They checked me again and I had regressed so they turned me back up. I slept until around 5:30 or 6. Again waking up to the balloons- this time,dawn patrol was happening. I have seen it enough times to have the script and the music playing in my mind... Everyone else in the room was sleeping so I just took it all in as a really special moment.
At around 8 or 8:S0 they came in to check me and decided that yes! I was really ready to start pushing... It really was a blur from there until 1:08 when out he came and was placed on my chest. I was laughing, hubby was crying and Mr. O was beautiful. hair, long eyelashes, long fingers and toes, little man parts just like I had suspected. Cone head and all he was so sweet and I was in awe.
He was here, he was really really here. The little human that we had been waiting for, dreaming about and loving already.



I have to say that even if the birth wasn't the way I had "wanted" it to be, it was no less amazing, magical or special. I want other woman to know that it is important to realize this- I really wanted to do this on my own, but the circumstances weren't lining out and all I know is that having him here now is all that matters. I still feel strong (8 hours with no epidural and dosed on pitocin isn't easy nor is 5 hours of pushing). I still am amazed at what my body could and can do. I still used all my breathing and calming techniques we learned in class. I know that all the yoga and walking that I did while pregnant gave me the strength I needed for the process. All that prep we did was used, just in a little differnt way- but used none the less.


We are a family of three now (or I guess 5 if you count those fluffy schnauzers or ours) and I can't believe it.

BOY oh BOY

Thank you all for your thoughts, prayers, love and strength.

We made it.

We are home.



We are oh-so in love.


7lbs 14oz, 20 3/4in, 09-06-08, 1:08pm

More when I can catch my heart and stop looking at him for 2 minutes.

into the light

I hear them... the announcer is talking to the participants across the way over the loud speaker. It is only 7am, but I am sure they have all been up for hours already.
They have been prepping their giant rainbows onto the wet, cool grass. Spreading out color like artists to a canvas. Tomorrow they will start to float over our roof tops and we will hear the rushing sound of the flames, shhhhhh-shhhhhh. It is as much a signal of autumn as the squawk of geese overhead. As much of a signal that we are headed into a new season as the cool air that sticks around longer that 8am and the new red-orange that I see in the neighbor's tree. These cues let me know that things are changing. Changing in a big way.

The ballooners aren't the only ones being beckoned toward the light. Baby-noodle has been scheduled to make a debut. We have big choices and big conversations to make with our doctor today.
Will she let me go just a few more days if I agree to be monitored over the weekend? What if my calculations of the EDD are more accurate than hers? (after all, I was charting 40 weeks and 5 days ago and know when things went down). Is my thermometer and graph paper more knowledgeable than her fancy ultrasound machine?
Is baby really running low on bath water in there or is it because Dr. is going to be on call this Friday and can make it conveniently to be the birth?
Will I fall down the slippery slope of an induced birth?
If we do let things progress on their own, would the end result be any different than what could happen if we use assistance to jump start things? I could have complications without the drugs just as easily as I could with them.
And just how big is baby noodle getting in there? I saw the scale at the office move up an entire lb from last week to this.
Is it selfish to want the birth I imagined or is it good parenting to not want to start things off in a drug induced way?
so many questions...we have until 8pm tonight to decide.

If I have been in your thoughts I want to tell you "thank you". Please keep sending us strength, courage and love. Most of all I need to remember to TRUST in the universe... everything is as it should be.

PS if any of my dear readers out there have been through an induced labor and delivery and have some positive light to shed on this for me I would love to hear it... we are leaning towards following doctor's orders. So tonight is most likely the night. I just need to hear from you guys out there. I know woman are induced all the time and the babies are just fine. So if you have a story that you don't mind telling please share (you can email me if you don't want it out on the web, just leave me a comment and I will pass along my address).... thanks

we dance on roof tops