So I'm not sure about the past week's photos. But here goes anyway... I lent my dad in law my 50mm lens, because I knew he would love it and make the jump to buy one if he put it on his new camera body (he does and I called it!). But, it is a challenge for me to slap a different lens on my camera and shoot. I didn't realize how dependent I had become on that pretty little thing. I can see the difference in my shots- These are blown and over exposed. I think it is a really good chance for me to learn something about photography doing this. But can someone PLEASE help me understand why my photos are so, um, 'tinny" or metallic and contrasty. I messed with them in post processing, but I feel like I am just missing something. The fiddy just doesn't act like this...
He starts asking me on Monday if it is Friday yet- he knows Ms Dana keeps suckers behind her desk on Fridays.. I wasn't sure about the candy stuff at first, but really, it's a fun tradition and he is learning the days of the week while we are at it...
I think I have mentioned before how I am really loving Pinterest? I do. It is such a cool place for me to toss inspiration, ideas and recipes while I am out surfing the web. The past couple of days I noticed a ton of activity on my board called, "So sweing this for the kids" I couldn't figure it out, that is until I went to the Staff Favorites page. My board is a staff pick! I am flattered and totally stoked that my collection has captured the eye of others. There are so many great tutorials out there for making kid stuff, what an honor.
120:365, Sushi night
Our roomie suggested sushi last night. What fun to make our own.. We were stuffed!
I am going through some real soul searching right now. There are possible huge changes in the works for this little family of ours and if the state of my neck and shoulders (hello knots and kinks and pain) are any indication of how frazzled I am on the inside then I am in trouble. I think a lot of times I can hide my worry (or maybe not?) that I can put out a really positive and 'life will be okay' energy. But to be honest and candid, I am scared to pieces about what is going to happen to us in the next few months.
Right now, I feel like the lost set of keys that are hiding at the bottom of my purse. I feel like the bag is being shaken and shuffled for signs of the 'jingle' the keys might make, and I feel like at any minute the hand bag could get dumped upside down on the floor, contents strewn about and sorted in search of the lost keys.
I can't figure out if this is a good or bad thing. OR if it is neither good nor bad, it just is. And really, that is probably what it is- it just IS. But figuring out how to process, to deal and to make a plan is really scary and hard. It's going to take some huge leaps of faith, some soul searching and some compromise before we are done.

121:365,My girls
It was my bestie's birthday last week (she's on the right). So we got together today for brunch. I love these girls. There is something special about friends that you have had since forever and a day. We giggled, we were near tears, we had a pitcher of mimosas, yummy food and Fifi threw stuff on the floor faster than we could hand things to her.  xoxox girlies- you have no idea how much you three mean to me.

Earlier this week I got an email in my inbox. It was the news letter from the Organic Sister, Tara. In it was a link to purchase her new e-book, Digging Deep. I let the email sit and sit, but by the second day I couldn't stop thinking and wondering about this e-book. I have loved Tara's writing on her blog since I found her and more than once her posts about unschooling, RVing or just living the life you imagined have brought me to tears. I wondered if this offer in my inbox might be something that I needed. A message from the Universe, a tool box for all the possible changes that are headed our way. I purchased the book and started listening to Tara's words (she has audio of the book for those of us who are audio learners... I told you she was smart). Within a few sentences I was in tears and knew I needed to make time for this in my life.... I hope to share some of this journey with you all as I work my way through the process.... thanks for sticking with me these next few months, I have a feeling I might need some support as my journey unfolds a bit more.

much love... V~


  1. Vanessa~ wishing you the very, very best outcome during your trials. Stay strong. I smiled at the story about O and the Friday candy. When I grew up, every Friday my dad brought us one candy treat. We waited anxiously for Friday, but we knew absolutely that we could not have candy the rest of the week. Pretty good system really. He did it until I was 18 years old!

  2. It sounds scary...Change is good though, always a learning experience. Are you going to give us a few hints? Love, Kyndale

  3. @Cathy I just love that the Friday candy gave you such a sweet (tee hee) memory. Thanks for your well wishes!

  4. @kyndale_pease At this point, I am waiting for the universe to give me a few hints. We really don't know what is going to happen in the next couple of months. We are both government employees and so... I have a few ideas brewing, plotting and planning. But I am just not sure (courage is so hard to find sometimes) if any of them will pan out to much. have to keep positive though!

  5. Some words that have helped me enormously:
    Let everything happen to you,
    Beauty and terror;
    Just keep going.
    No feeling is final.

    Also, with the lens, maybe it needs to be cleaned? Although the exposure issues would most likely come from your settings. You may need to play with aperture, etc to adjust to a different lens...? Maybe... +Chelsea

  6. @Chelsea thank you for such beauitful words. I like the idea that no feeling is final..

    And the lens- I messed around a bit with settings. I think myabe it just underexposes things so I set the camera to over expose and left my appeture and shutter speed as I normally would shoot- it seems to have helped. It might just be a cheep lens! Thanks for the ideas there though~

  7. Hang on kiddo. Pull in the strength of the universe and remember that you are capable of more than you think. We're also facing a scary/liberating decision so I completely feel for you (something is in the stars right now - I know a lot of people at crossroads at the moment). You are allowed to be scared, it's how you deal with the fear that matters. I love you and am sending big virtual hugs through this time.

  8. @The Giant thank you Crys. I was talking to A this morning as we got ready, I told him that it is sad, but we do have so many people in the same place as we are. That we don't have to feel ashamed or bad about how things might work out-
    sending you big hugs too. lubs you!

  9. You are strong, smart, kind, and have an excellent support network of family and friends. No matter what happens, you will land on your feet. Or perhaps land in a sweet little van? :D

    I am looking forward to hearing about your journey. I, too, have some searching to do in the next several months. Woo! What nutty times we are living in, eh?

  10. @Ani you are part of that network my friend. Thank you for such sweet, supportive words..

    and yes, crazy times indeed. I will be cheering you on through your searching!! are you done this semeseter?


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