gone...

It's been quiet over here. I know. I plan on playing catch up this week.

 

Here is why....

I got on a plane early, early, early two Friday mornings ago and by afternoon, found myself on the other side of the country.

My grandmother wasn't well.

I made it back in to New Jersey in time to see her. to hold her hand and tell her I love her before she passed.

 

It was sad, but what made me really, really sad was to see my mom with her- watch as she fed her, talked to her. I know one day I will loose my mom too and the thought of it makes me almost numb.

 

I don't know if I will be strong enough to spoon feed her apple juice and lemon pudding. I know I will have to be, because I am only child, and who else would do it? I know I will have to, even if it breaks my heart with each tiny bite, as I am sure it did for my mom to do the same for Grandma.

 

I grew up on the other side of the country from where my grandparents (and rest of my mom's family) live. My grandparents never once came out to visit us in California or Nevada. But, I would see them in the summer time.  Mom and I would take the train across the country and stay for a few weeks during our summer vacation.

Memories:
We would always have Eggo waffles, half a grapefruit for breakfast-

Snacks included Oreo cookies, a food I really don't like (that filling is so greasy), but would eat because this was a forbidden food in my house. There were velamints to keep your breath nice and soda or Lipton tea (hot) at the ready.

 

There was a park down the street that we (8 cousins in total) could go to without an adult. I remember one particular day when there was a huge clap of thunder and then rain like I had never seen the likes of back home, that dumped buckets of water on us. We made it in to the screened in front porch dripping wet and laughing.

 

That same front porch is where many a game of rummy and rummy cubes were played. Something I still love to do to pass a few hours with family.

 

Grandma always had finger nail polish and aqua net. Her bathroom smelled of dove soap and face moisturizer. We would often sit in the TV room in the afternoons and I would watch her sew and then nod off into a snore, as Days of Our Lives played out on the screen. 

 

It's never easy to say goodbye.
Grandma, I love you. May you be resting in peace with Grandpa now.